Does anyone else get that thing where every previous iteration of yourself is like… so embarrassing? Or the things you created a year ago make you want to crawl into a cave?
I was supposed to put a travel post up last week, but instead I spent the whole morning on a frustrated rampage through photos from our Mexico trip last year, tearing my hair out because none of them were quite “good” enough to share. Tim came to check on me and I screeched “I’M IN A BAD MOOD” just because I was so damn annoyed that our photography hasn’t been an instantaneous perfect art.
Backtracking a bit: I’ve finally accepted the humbling realization that I’m a late bloomer. My kindergarten teacher used to report back to my parents that I was a real slowpoke because I was the last one finishing projects when everyone else had run on to the next thing. Twenty years later, I STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN BOOBS (but whaaatever). And I feel like I’m only just now figuring out how to create a career.
So I’m a bit slow on things. Always feel a bit behind (even if my pace seems right to me), like everyone else figured something out a decade before I did. And with this whole photography thing, it’s so hard not to compare yourself to people who skyrocket in their talent like instantaneously. I suppose no matter what you’re doing it’s a good sign to be frustrated by the things you created a year ago, because it means you’re growing… but it’s a terrible recipe for self-esteem to go back in time and try to share work that you made before you “learned.” And being a late bloomer on top of that? Makes me sure as hell wonder if I’ll ever figure out what I’m supposed to be doing around here. And comparing your own birthdate to Beyonce’s to see if you could become that successful in two years is like, the LEAST HELPFUL THING EVER (don’t try this).
Anyway I had a mini Leo-the-Late-Bloomer crisis looking at photos that captured a really beautiful time, which defeats the whole purpose of photography in the first place. And as Tim reminds me, sometimes “done is better than perfect.” And I’m still blooming. None of us is a final product yet.
With that in mind, here are some images from early 2015, when we had a sweet little weekend in Valladolid, Mexico. We woke up at sunrise, drank coffee to the sweet white noise of awakening Yucatan wildlife, jumped into cenotes headfirst, ate scorched tamales and corn ice cream on the sidewalk, wrote in our journals, soaked in outdoor bathtubs at our gorgeous hotel Coqui Coqui, dreamed about the future together and stared up at the most vivid stars. Valladolid will always be lodged right between our lungs, because it’s the town we started the next phase of life together, this entrepreneurial world where I’m still finding my footing.
We keep growing with each new morning. Late bloomers and all.